1|965 ยป

omnipotentapertureai whispered,

*who's mentally salivating now? that sounds wonderful. a classy, well dressed robot running around, ridding the facility of humans in the most eccentric ways*

If he killed them all at once, some of the meat might go bad before he got a chance to use it. And they’re probably all a bit on the tough side, not that he cares too much. The bird would be the best of the lot.

Not that he’d ever consider such a thing!

Murder is bad! Mostly!

Permalink

6 hours ago

omnipotentapertureai whispered,

*still, maybe one day your appetite and curiosity will win out. it'll be a glorious day*

A literally bloodthirsty robot running amok?

As much as any unnamed mods may claim otherwise, he doesn’t think that sounds like a fun time for anyone except GLaDOS. Good thing his corruption rises at a snail’s pace!

Permalink

6 hours ago

omnipotentapertureai whispered,

*what if the human race comes back on top again? they are a robust kind. and your own life span is plenty long enough*

Wouldn’t they just lock him up for eating people? It’d be a habit by then, he wouldn’t blame them. He’d lock someone up if they ate robots, but by that logic he’d have to lock himself up over a few turrets.

Now he’s gone off track in wondering whether he could break handcuffs or iron bars.

Permalink

6 hours ago

omnipotentapertureai whispered,

*you could go down in history as the first ever man, bot, person, to ever have tasted this species. recipe book signing and endorsements! cooking show perhaps?*

Well, now he’s just feeling a little lost.

Didn’t the world end? Who would buy that book? The only non-recorded channel he ever found on TV was some old man going on about the human species.

The only reputation he might get, at least among those in Aperture, would be “that one robot who eats people.” What would his husband think?

Permalink

7 hours ago

omnipotentapertureai whispered,

*would wonder if you considered what a bird person would taste like. beefy chicken? chickeny beef? a new, undiscovered, untasted flavor? who would be more worthy, than you?*

Chickeny veal..?

Beefy chicken..?

Ostrich..?

Oh no, he’s salivating. Mentally salivating, anyway. His corruption’s not quite high enough to warrant anything more than just thinking about eating his mutated friends.

But now he wants an ostrich.

Permalink

7 hours ago
1 note

omnipotentapertureai whispered,

*would reward you handsomely if you did more than just make causally fun talk with a homicidal woman*

Feels as though its much safer to make friends with the killer bird woman than to bother the killer bird woman.

Though, now he’s considering mentioning that she did feed him people and he thought it was pretty good. He is curious over whether that’s reward worthy.

Permalink

7 hours ago
1 note

pensive-harpy whispered,

Of course! I'm happy you like them! *grins* Well, you know I always appreciate food! I'll keep my eye out for any exotic ingredients for you! And let me know if you ever need anything sewn!

I will be sure to come to you, and that would be wonderful. My searching only digs up so much in terms of ingredients.

-In hindsight, he really should have been making more connections in other universes. Too bad his chemical source was murderous-

Permalink

12 hours ago
1 note

(Source: pastelfoodshades)

pensive-harpy whispered,

I wanted to thank you for the other day! The, uh, long pork.? So! Here are your oven mitts! I'm kinda, running low on fabric, so I hope you like cherries. *hands over two oven mitts with a cherry on black background* I hope to get some more soon to make some better ones!

Oh! Thank you, I should say. It was no trouble at all, and these should be perfect.

-They’re happily accepted, and he even tries them on. Perfect fit!-

If I can ever offer you more help, be it with cooking or whatnot, I would be happy to do so.

Permalink

1 day ago

pensive-harpy whispered,

Hey Logic?

Yes, Harpy?

Permalink

2 days ago